Shadow Boys From Heck

by Cool Parents

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A (mostly) acoustic Halloween E.P. from your favorite shadow boys. Straight outta HECK.


released October 21, 2017


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Cool Parents New Hampshire

A band that puts smiles on faces.

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Track Name: Intro (Touched By A Demond)
Board up your windows
And stay up all night
Protect your sweet bimbos
From a Frankenstein's fright

The goblins will howl
For the time is now here
To void all your bowels
And tremble in fear

Were-boys and ghouls
And a Dracula's lip
The darkness is cruel
You shall feel its grip

So beware the apparition
Of a devil's dark grin
I ask just one question:
Was I becoming... a demond?
Track Name: I Was A Teenage Dracula
I was a teenage Dracula
With a taste for emo blood
I got an undead evil eye
I'm gonna make you one of my brides

A living dead teen seductress
A ghostly white comely countess
The Transylvanian of my nightmares
Would you please join me in my lair?

She's an old school hag
Drinkin blood from the bag
I'm a teenage vamp
Ramp-shredding space camp

Van Helsing can't do shit to me
Despite the fact I'm a centuries old teen
With a pretty bad garlic allergy
The only stake I see is my cold, dead peep

Deep inside the tomb of my castle
I'll get my nut in the womb or the asshole
Of one of three beautiful zombies
But compared to you, they mean nothing to me

I ate the heart of a whore
It was quite the bore
What I really need
Is a succubus teen

I spent lifetimes sucking blood
Like a big bad spooky bug
Then I saw an inviting frown
In a see-through white death gown
After years of draining schmucks
I think it's time that I got sucked
I was a teenage Dracula
God damn the sun
God damn the sun
Track Name: Martians In The Backyard
Peeking in windows
And fingering buttholes
Interplanetary predators
Giant anal probe pedalers

They defy gravity
But they refuse to skate
Wasted potential
They just want to get baked

They stole my brother's gas mask bong
What they did to his butt was just plain wrong
Their fingers are so long
Their fingers are so long
And it's just plain wrong

I tried to warn you
But you laughed in my face
Machine guns can't save you
From the killer alien superworm snake
We had our chance
But we turned our backs
Now there's Martians in the backyard
And we're all fucked in the ass

The Joaquin approach
Wooden baseball bat
Didn't quite work out
They put it in my ass

There's something in the sky
Bright flashing lights
Lubrication is a privilege
To them it's not a right

Take me to your leader
Not to the second knuckle
I'm not a Martian breeder
Or a sky bound cuckold

Back from whence you came
Disappear into the night
Leave me in your wake of flame
Tom DeLonge was right
He was right
Track Name: Dancing Ghost
Without the beat he can't survive
That's what I used to say when I was alive
Now he's free, his moves are tight
Don't have a body, I can groove all fucking night

Dancing Ghost
Ooh woah oh woah oh woah oh
Dancing Ghost
Ooh woahoh ooh woah oh oh oh

He went peacefully, a little blood
Cut my wrist now I really cut a rug
He found relief in a knife
Loved the afterparty now I love the afterlife

He used twirl and boogie down
That was before I was buried in the ground
He knew a lot, but still he learns
In my coffin's where I learned the fucking Worm
Track Name: Ghost Dick
My pee pee is haunted
It's got a mind of its own
It's not what I wanted
There's a ghost in my bone

My Petey's possessed
Consumed by hate
Now it's obsessed
With Mercyful Fate

Got a dick full of ghost
It's shadowy pale
An earthly host
For a dead doornail

I got a ghost dick
With deadly intent
It's got the devil in it
And it won't repent

I got a ghost dick
Desecrating my life
A thin burnt wick
On the hunt for a wife

I got a ghost dick
(He's got a ghost dick)
Track Name: Smörgåsbord of Orbs
Had a free night
Met up with the polterguys
Fresh on the trail
Of some poltergeists

Got a Ouija board
Had a seance
In a house that looks like
It'd be filled to the brim with something grim

Smörgåsbord of orbs
Is it all just spooky nonsense
Or are we really conjuring ghost?

Smörgåsbord of orbs
(In a haunted house)
Is it all just in my head
Or should I trust these EVPs?
A guy can dream

Made some contact
It wasn't you, it wasn't me
So maybe the dead talk back
Got a shiver
Down our spines
Transylvanian Einsteins in our prime
Are we the first to get some proof

You can doubt
What this disembodied voice is all about
You can be
A skeptical receptacle for the truth
This is a shout out
To all the real ghost hunting teams
Busting those dimensional seams

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